Arg

I’m currently working 3 full time jobs. There’s the job search. There’s the writing thing. Then there’s the job that actually pays the bills. I gave up sleep a few weeks ago. Luckily it was never one of the things I was good at.

I’ve been working as a contractor the last 6 months. Well, at least some of the last 6 months. First I was sick for 6 weeks. Then they ended my contract early and it took about a month to find another contract. I like contract work but it’s very unnerving when rent and the college tuition payments come due. I think that’s what it must be like to be a full time writer. Never knowing if the next contract is coming through. Will it be better or worse than the last one.

I submitted a story to an e-publisher and am waiting, afraid they’ll say no, afraid they’ll say yes. I’m a self-sabotage queen because of that last one. A friend recently used the phrase “mental wall” and that’s me and the writing. I keep picking up the pick-axe to take down the wall, but the wall is strong.

It’s a battle like everything else. Weight loss. Exercise. Eating right. We fight the good fight and hope our boxing gloves are industrial strength.

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